Another privilege discussion, because everyone is going to read it —I'm not going to post something like this on facebook because it's too personal, but if any friends know that it's me and want to talk about it with me one on one, they can.
I'm not anywhere near wealthy, but I'm nowhere near poverty, either.
I just want to hopefully get more people thinking about some of the economic inequality stuff going on, and share my perspective. My identity isn't important; it's the general issue that I'm getting at.
I've lived a pretty comfortable life. One of my parents was very poor, and was also the first in their family to get a Bachelor’s degree, and I was always told how much I had and should be grateful for. I did get into a school like Whitman, and for that, I am most definitely grateful. But it is always frustrating when I tell people about the retail job that I work at over break, and they look at me with sympathy or confusion. It’s not fun, it’s work, but I don't mind working at that kind of job, because I know it's not forever. Many of my much less privileged co-workers ARE going to be in jobs like that forever, and that is humbling and important for me to understand. It's also taught me a lot about getting along with people and learning to be efficient and friendly in a work setting.
But I always feel like my life doesn't measure up to my peers at Whitman, because I have to make enough money over break, and that doesn't allow me to take a really cool internship (those don't tend to pay very well), or travel, or do anything amazing or extremely fun. Making a resume in college made me feel awful because I feel like I don't have anything good to offer on paper compared to most of the students here. I have volunteering things, but those took place during school and on my days off when I wasn't working. My volunteer hours aren't anywhere near the number of hours I've worked. I'm still pretty privileged compared to most Americans, but I never had enough privilege to not have to work when I'm not in school. I believe that both work and internships should be valued, given that not everyone comes from a rich background. Resume-stuffing, or whatever the term is for just cramming in a bunch of internships, etc. can be a great thing, but it’s not great for everyone, not if you just can’t afford to take on one of those things. The emphasis on resume-stuffing is understandable at a school full of very academically-oriented people, but some students, who aren’t rich and didn’t get a ton of aid, just have to work.
I feel that many, though not all, people here don’t understand that my reality is the common reality for most American college students. Some students and even some professors kind of flinch or look down and just nod when they ask what I'm doing over break and I tell them. My (comparably) humble life is something I try to avoid talking about with most people here, because I don’t get to go to Chile to study environmental issues. I have to go to work. I’m not ashamed of that, but most people here, at least most that I’ve talked to, just can’t relate to it. I’m also going to graduate with tens of thousands of dollars in student debt, which is also very typical of most American college students, so I have to work. I tell myself this, because I know it's true: They don't understand, and they’re not intentionally making you feel bad, and they'd feel bad if they realized they were. They're just reacting in the only way they know how, they just have a different life, and I'm doing what I need to do until I get my degree.
But it's still hard to not compare yourself in that setting when everyone stresses resumes, when everyone has something cool to share about their breaks and the coolest thing I did was hang out with my family on my days off (which certainly is fun, but people ask how far you traveled, and you're like, uh, the five minute drive to my job?), and the best thing I can say is, “Oh, I just stayed home, it was relaxing,” and quickly change the subject so as not to get that pitied look again (even though I feel I have nothing to be pitied), and when your professors and peers seem to either pity you or judge you for it, especially when everyone here says that they're open-minded about privilege. I'm not even anywhere near poverty. But I can still see that many people's actions don't match what they profess to believe when they get a funny look on their face when I talk about working in retail. I hope this rant made sense. And I hope it will further the discussion about privilege.
love doctors—Is it weird to want to hook up with your twin sister? She's been going to college in Pennsylvania for acting, and I can't stop thinking about her when we're apart. Whennever we see each hother at home in Colorado, I feel whole again. I try to act naturally, but i think it's starting to slip. Every time I masturbate I try to think about other girls, especially this redhead in my math class. But right as I'm about to cum, my sister's face pops into my mind. I think I might be in love with her. Do I ask the redhead out? Do I come clean with my sister?
Open-Minded Sex Fiends—My goal before I graduate next semester is to have a consensual and safe threesome or orgy. Any folks down? I'm a single, cis-gendered woman interested in all gender combinations. Email me, and let's make this happen!
—Girl next door
Constructive info please—I'm fully aware of the mental health stigma, as it has hurt me and many close to me. If you feel something, you want to assume that it's valid, but that can get messy if you have a mental illness that messes with rational thinking. How can one tell whether someone is just mean, or if they have an illness that keeps them from thinking rationally? Is it a difference in intensity? Is it impossible to tell because we don't have the societal knowledge of that yet because of a pervasive mental health stigma keeping us from learning how to deal with and treat it? This is part of why this stigma is so destructive. We don't even know how to differentiate it, and people can get labeled as mean and nasty when in actuality, they are suffering.
Now is the time...—...to get rid of stupid laws, like those against selling untaxed cigarettes. Racial prejudice will be with us for a long time, including in our police forces, but let's eliminate the outlets for this unacceptable aggression.
privileged shits—okay so this literally makes me so mad. why are people fucking leaving their bon app dishes just lying around in academic buildings???? It's so fucking rude. Like who do you think is gonna pick those up?? I've seen three dirty plates just lying around in the science building in the past week alone, one of them sitting right outside some professor's offices. It's not the janitors' jobs to take care of your dirty dishes. So disrespectful, honestly. Fucking take responsibility for your messes and carry your dish with you until you go to the dining hall again and save us all from having to see your dirty shit lying around.
Naked Mile In Winter—We have to wait a whole year to run The Mile. Why not do it in the winter too? I know it's cold and sometimes slippery, but sure we can deal with that, can't we? What do you people think? It can be just one lap or running back and forth from one to another. Myself, I'm definitely running naked the night of the last day of classes. Who is with me?
Yall—Sorry for the TMI, but there's something wrong with me.
I cant cum during sex. It's actually making me feel depressed/inadequate/self hatred. I can cum amazingly through masturbation but not through sex. I've had sex several times this year and nothing. It's horrible. I know women have a harder time achieving orgasms but I just can't cum. No matter what he does. It's tearing my soul apart.
So any suggestions? Should I stop masturbating? Just go cold turkey then have sex and see if that works? I love sex but not being to cum is finally getting to me. What should I do?!? Help!!!