Whitman—

      I recently experienced a very thrilling and confusing (and sort of taboo) relationship. It was honestly a wonderful experience and I’m so happy to have lived it- but for a long time I couldn’t find a way to talk about it and what it meant to me… Mostly because I barley even understand it. Instead it’s been bottled up inside me with no healthy outlet.

SO I decided to try creative writing- I wrote short story about it. It’s a true account- right down to the details- but for some reason writing something that reads like fiction helped me verbalize so many things I’ve been keeping to myself for too long.

I don’t want to spam anyone with it, so if you’re actually interested in reading it shoot me an email and I’ll send it to you. For some reason I just want to put our story out there and start a dialogue with anyone who is interested- especially hoping someone might find pieces of it they can relate to somehow.

I’ve always been interested in the complexities of love and attraction and just plain caring about someone, so if you are too then maybe you’ll enjoy!

—Anonymous

Posted at half past five in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link   hide  
POST IT
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to six in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link  
Would love to read it if you are interested in sharing.
—Junior writer
Posted at ten o'clock in the morning on October 31st, 2014.  link  
It's 2.5 pages, so it seems a little long to post on WE! But I will email it to anyone.

Emailed it to you, Junior writer.
—OP
Posted at a quarter past one in the afternoon on October 31st, 2014.  link  
i want to read it...
—curious
Posted at a quarter to three in the afternoon on October 31st, 2014.  link  
Can I read it?
—Anonymous
Posted at half past eight in the evening on October 31st, 2014.  link  
Post a link?
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 31st, 2014.  link  

olivia kinney—

      single?

—Anonymous

Posted at a quarter to eight in the evening on October 31st, 2014.  link   hide  

What do you do—

      when you've gotten yourself stuck in a lie but you want to come clean?

I have multiple problems with this (which leads me to question why I have a habit of lying in the first place), but here's an example:

Freshman year, people were talking about sex or something and someone asked "Oh, you've had sex, right?" and I just sort of went "yep," even though it wasn't true. It wasn't such a big deal, except soon enough it became a thing that was well known, and everyone in the group felt comfortable being like "oh well we've all had sex so here, lets talk about it" so I felt pressured to lie and make up fake sexual encounters, etc. In short, I'm now sort of dating this guy but he thinks I'm super sexually experienced... but I'm not. I'm still a virgin. And as much as I want to tell him, then I'd have to explain "oh by the way I've lied about this so many times, oops," and that's embarrassing. And I don't just want to have sex with him without mentioning it, because honestly I'm scared that it'll hurt/I'll be bad at it, etc. and I don't want to have sex with someone when my relationship is built on lies.

So... what do I do? Just wait till post-college and start over? Just tell him I'm an idiot and hope he still likes me? Just avoid having sex for a long time?

Ack, it's so dumb. I'm so dumb for getting into this situation.

—Mad at myself

Posted at a quarter past five in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link   hide  
^Also I'm now a junior if that helps you understand how imbedded in this lie I am...
—OP
Posted at half past five in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link  
I understand that pressure, it's easy to fall into. I have seen that pressure affect others as well - you're not alone. I think that it's important for you to be honest with your partner. If you explain this to your partner, and they care about you, (hopefully) they would make an effort to understand where you're coming from before making a negative judgment.

I think if you "wait till post-college" you might regret that. The second option might be your best bet, especially if you feel comfortable and ready to have sex with your partner. I'm also willing to bet that it will feel great to get it off your chest - and, if sex something you want now, you'll be glad you didn't keep putting it off.

If the two of you do decide to have sex, please remember the importance of protection against pregnancy and STIs! The health center is a great resource for birth control and protection if you need more information.

TL;DR honesty is the best policy! be safe, and good luck!
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past four in the afternoon on October 31st, 2014.  link  

Men —

      I miss having sex. It's been almost 6 months. I want a hook up buddy who won't be afraid to be my friend, should a real connection develop between us. I'm not looking for more than sex and friendship, but if we both had stronger feelings for each other and both had the desire to take things further, then I would not be opposed to being something more. I'm a senior girl who is experienced, attractive, and clean, and I'm looking for a guy who is definitely all three of those things, too (not necessarily the senior part, but please be at least 19; I'm 20). I'm not looking to take anyone's virginity, I'm not dtf someone I'm not attracted to, and I'm not trying to get an STI. I like regular-sized or big penises. Email me if you're interested.

—Anonymous

Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
female privilege is the ability to be picky when it comes to sexual partners.
—not saying women have it better, just that some advantages do exist
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
wait but people are split almost 50-50 sexwise
mathematically that doesn't make sense
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past eleven in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
on whitmanencounters the ratio is more lopsided (at least, the ratio of guys posting looking for sex to girls looking for sex)
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past eleven in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
[citation needed]
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to one in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
Recently it seems to be the other way around, actually. Perhaps because men know they're more likely to get crickets and don't post.
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link  
Get in touch (happy to chat via email to see if it might work out!)
—Anonymous
Posted at ten o'clock in the morning on October 31st, 2014.  link  
female privilege?? sounds like some bullshit to me. men are also capable of being picky when they choose their sexual partners, just as capable as women. Because as people, regardless of gender, we tend to be picky about who we sleep with. Kind of a given.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past twelve in the evening on October 31st, 2014.  link  

Hey you—

      Make more art

—Do it

Posted at half past nine in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
Fuck you
—Don't tell me what to do.
Posted at a quarter past eleven in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link  

Girls who like poetry—

      Sophomore guy looking for a girl
Just looking to take a twirl
If the chem's right and we match,
Who know what'll happen when we listen to "Latch"
maybe email me to hang out/chill?
promise i'll pay for the bill
(ps: though I wasn't planning for us to go out anywhere - just chill on campus - but that doesn't rhyme with hang out) :)

Anyways, I agree with previous posts that its hard to meet at frats, so anyone interested in branching out - holla at me! I up for whatever - talking for a bit, playing Frisbee, etc...

—shitty poet - and u know it

Posted at nine o'clock in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link   hide  

Girl—

      our song.
it's the slamming
screen door.
sneaking out
late tapping on your
window

when we are on the phone and you talk
real slow because it is late and your mama don't know

our song is the way you laugh.

the
first
date
MAN
I
DIDN'T
KISS
HER
WHEN
I
SHOULD
HAVE.



andwhenigothomebeforeisaidamen

asking god if he could play it again?

—A Whitman poet

Posted at a quarter past eight in the evening on October 30th, 2014.  link   hide  

Marlee Raible—

      Taken?

—Anonymous

Posted at three o'clock in the afternoon on October 30th, 2014.  link   hide  

friendly men—

      i came to college wanting to experience new things. these include sexual experiences with people of the same sex. i thought it would be a lot easier to do this, but i haven't found anyone and don't know how to go about doing this.

any guys interested in hanging out and seeing where it goes?

—Me

Posted at half past nine in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
emailed
—Anonymous
Posted at eight o'clock in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
leave an email for me to respond to!
—OP
Posted at one o'clock in the afternoon on October 30th, 2014.  link  

Anyone—

      TL;DR: Consent needs a better marketing strategy (brute-force one-liners seem distasteful to me).

= = =

I've always found the "enthusiastic" aspect of Consent problematic. Like I get that They are trying to make it clear whether one actually wants intercourse, but the idea that you have to be "enthused" (have eager interest) in order to have sex just doesn't jibe well with me. Sex is very complicated and a lot of people have mixed reactions to it and so it is entirely conceivable to enjoy sex without being enthusiastic about it (also all those goddamn exclaimation points!).

The consent movement at Whitman as a whole strikes me as way to sex-positive ("consent is sexy :D :D :D"). I get that that's a marketing decision but still. I wish we could just have an open and honest discussion about the issues without having to resort to marketing like this. Maybe that's more a criticism of society.

Anyway, the consent movement here feels like when you're learning the Pythagorean Formula for the first time in Algebra: you know what it's called and kinda what it does but you don't really know how or why. Sex is supes complex and exclamation-point one-liners aren't enough to really do any of it justice, and it feels like people are being tricked (?) into the idea, which isn't the way i feel things should be.

Like seriously, if "it's sexy! :D" is the best reason you can give for something (and it isn't i know but that's what's getting put out there in advertising so that's what people see) then i am more turned off to the idea than i am turned on. And consent is a super important concept and so i find it sad that it's received this trivializing treatment.

—Anonymous

Posted at half past one in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link   hide  
New consent marketing slogan:

"If you care about the person you're with, get consent first.
If you don't, don't fucking have sex."
—Anonymous
Posted at half past one in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
So I know that's how the administration framed consent, in a very pithy phrase "consent is sexy." BUT students have been working with the administration to change it so that the message is "consent is necessary," or "consent is necessary and sexy." The emphasis being necessary here. Trust me, students have been working hard to educate our peers on consent because, as you said, it is very important! I'm sorry to here the ludicrous one-liner is what has stuck with you. Clearly we need to be working harder.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past nine in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
Aw, you don't need to be working harder, these things just take time
—OP
Posted at half past ten in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
<3

Sorry if my post came off as suuper negative; i see problems and sometimes feel the need to rant about them but i know that there are people hard at work making them better and i'm super glad of that :)

Out of curiousity, is there a student group in particular who is working with this sort of thing? or is it more done on an individual basis?
—OP
Posted at half past ten in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
There's a coalition group working on proposing revisions to Whitman's consent policy and Green Dot. If you're curious, email the FACE presidents. It might be a closed group though, not sure
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
at best a way to avoid awkward encounters and at worst a means to kick anyone you hook up with out of college.
—Anonymous
Posted at four o'clock in the morning on October 30th, 2014.  link  
You can also join All Students for Consent which works really hard with the administration to discuss how much more complex these conversations need to be. And to promote consent being necessary, rather than sexy (which makes it sound like an option based on whether or not you think it's sexy). The club meets at 8 on Tuesday in Reid 110, feel free to come! Or reply to this for more info.
—Anonymous
Posted at ten o'clock in the morning on October 30th, 2014.  link  

Dear diary—

      Today, the ass was fat.

—Thank you based God

Posted at eight o'clock in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
wtf does this even mean
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past nine in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link  
but who was phone
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
It was Prince Charming this whole time...
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past four in the morning on October 30th, 2014.  link  
It was Hot Casey this whole time...
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to ten in the morning on October 30th, 2014.  link  

LIBERAL ARTS—

      STUDENTS OF THE WORLD

—UNITE!

Posted at half past three in the morning on October 28th, 2014.  link   hide  
lol has this ever happened evar

liberal arts students don't give a fuuuuck

"herp derp oh faulkner would say bladda bladda problamatized deconstruct pip pip ethyl compounds"
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to two in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
"indeed if one historicizes and problematizes the ontological narrativity one gets a discursive meta-paradigm of dialogical liminality and Quasi-Hegelian sex indeed clearly"

liberal arts plz stop
—Anonymous
Posted at two o'clock in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
All you have to lose is your bike chains!
—The Revolution reborn!
Posted at half past five in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
"lol has this ever happened evar"

Have you heard of something called the late 60s and 70s?
Do some research.
—Anonymous
Posted at eight o'clock in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
"Liberal arts" being the core phrase here. Research universities and land-grant colleges and what-have-you don't count.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_liberal_arts_colleges_in_the_United_States

Political activism happens at your UC Berkeleys and your Columibas and whatnot. Places where the students are actually, like, involved in politics and current affairs rather than spending their days analysing Marx and Nietzsche and cramming for that Bio test.
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to nine in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
Wait, so at Berkeley they don't study for tests?

It's harder to make a visible protest at a place like here because we're small and we're not in a city. Sure it's fun to make fun of our pretentiousness, but discouraging social dialogue and the urge to change society by belittling it is really counter productive. We can change the world, don't sell yourself short.
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past two in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
No but see, if you say that other people who aren't doing things are wrong, it's the same as doing things.
—Why are people who want to understand Marx or biology more toxic than you assholes?
Posted at three o'clock in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
Not discouraging social dialogue, trying to motivate peeps to improve. We have a long way to go in terms of taking care of social problems etc. and slactivism is pretty rampant here.
—critic
Posted at a quarter past eleven in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  

So —

      My friend just started avoiding me one day last week. Everything was fine, and now she's not responding to my texts. She acted strangely when I last saw her, too. I'm sure I did something. How do I figure out what I did so I can apologize? I don't want to ask her and have her get mad at my inability to figure this out.

—Anonymous

Posted at half past twelve in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
I think it's okay to ask her in person or even text her about it but with the pretext of "I'm so sorry I'm dumb and don't know what I did but I want to make it right, help me understand what I did." At least, if I was her I would appreciate it. Ignoring it only could only perpetuate her idea that you're aloof.
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link  
Just ask her if anything is up flat out. You don't have to give a pretext.
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  

WHITEman College—

      This school sucks. It's so cliquey and everyone looks the same, dresses the same, and acts the same. All the fuckin white hipsters who try to be down. stop. So glad to be transfering from this shit hole

—fed up

Posted at half past six in the morning on October 28th, 2014.  link   hide  
We're not all that sorry to lose you either.
—Whether or not this is trolling
Posted at a quarter past four in the afternoon on October 28th, 2014.  link  
^ I feel you. The school has certainly gotten even "whiter" in recent years, thanks to the switch to "need sensitive" policy. A little more LL Bean, and less Patagonia.
—Alum
Posted at a quarter to eight in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
Patagonia is a clique. Not sure that less of it is a bad thing.
—Anonymous
Posted at nine o'clock in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
Whitman just seems to be getting more countryclubesque, as opposed to merely snobbish granola. Look at the younger crops of Whitties and compare them with the Whitties of years past. These guys need some more white guilt....
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to ten in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
Yeah white people suck. blame the whites. kill whitey.
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to ten in the evening on October 28th, 2014.  link  
Yes, Patagonia is expensive and there are a lot of wealthy kids on this campus who drop hundreds of dollars just to look good walking to class. Those kids give it a bad rep, hence the Patagucci nickname. HOWEVER Patagonia is an incredible company with great environmental stewardship and their stuff is expensive because it can last forever and they'll repair it if it breaks. There is a large population of kids on this campus who put their Patagonia products through the wringer in the outdoors. Someone who wears Patagonia is more likely to be an awesome, down to earth outdoor enthusiast than a rich white snob.
—Anonymous
Posted at eleven o'clock in the morning on October 29th, 2014.  link  
I would have to say the DGs are my least favorite white girls. sophomore and junior class is freakin terrible
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter to three in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
No, I was not trolling. When I hear a fucking white frat dude call his also white friends "niggas," I can't help but feel fucking tired of white people at this damn school. Your hipster racism is NOT cute.
—OP
Posted at a quarter to three in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
I agree, white people shouldn't be using the word nigga, and lots of people do stupid racist things they don't bother to think about. But if you believe that every one of 1400 students here "looks the same, dresses the same, and acts the same" based on the actions of a few frat boys, then you are not trying, and you aren't going to be any happier wherever you're transferring.
—First commentor
Posted at three o'clock in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
I appreciate that this is a problem at our school and that people are upset about it, which is totally legitimate. But I do wish more people would actually try and do something productive about it rather than just say how upset you are at something that we all already know is an issue. You can transfer schools and do all of that, that's totally your decision, but for those of you who are staying, why don't we try to actually come up with substantive solutions rather than repetitive complaints?
—lets see some action
Posted at half past four in the afternoon on October 29th, 2014.  link  
To First commentor: I'm expressing my anger via whitmanencounters because the rest of campus is fed up with hearing us poor minority kids talk about our problems. I have heard the ugliest comments come from students I consider my friends, from professors and have seen such racist and shitty things at parties and even in the library. I'm just fed up. I know that all 1400 students at whitman are not the same, but I wasn't trying to be correct. I was just ranting. Frustrated. Hurt. and feeling extremely defeated. This campus will probably be much happier without me or should I say, without one more angrymarginalized POC.
—OP
Posted at a quarter to six in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
I'm really sorry to hear you've had that experience. I know a lot of people who really want to change this issue at Whitman. Sometimes I do feel like people are uneducated about some of the more subtle hurtful comments and could really benefit from someone pointing out to them what they're saying exactly that is not ok. This is something people should be doing both when they personally feel discriminated against and when they see someone else that is being discriminated against. It sucks that it's necessary but it is one of the ways people learn.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past six in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
lmfao at the black guy saying white people calling each other nigga is racist hahahahaha
—Anonymous
Posted at half past six in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
^ dude fuck you, white frat dudes throwing around "nigga" and want to throw on 'black cool' but don't want everything that comes with it? do you wanna be followed around in the grocery store? or shot because you have your hands in your pocket? Do you really wanna be a 'nigga' ??


OP, I stand in solidarity with you. Transfer. Do whatever you need. If you need an alumni support, I've attached my email.
—black alum
Posted at a quarter to seven in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
^"Alumni" is plural.
—Racist white devil
Posted at a quarter to eight in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
OP, I'm white and liberal like most here, but not from wealthy suburbia, and wasn't taught to act serious all the time and didn't grow up with the 'all academics all the time and success and status are the only things that matter' attitude that many people here seem to have not just in class, but all the time. I have found it hard to relate to people or make true friends. I almost transferred for reasons relating to my career path, but would have enjoyed a change in social scenery, too. I hope for the best for you.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past nine in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
However, despite not really feeling 'chummy' with most people here, it's still not an obstacle to being able to at least learn how to get along with them. I'm still not great at it, but I have learned a lot and I have pushed myself to at least talk and listen more to others since almost leaving. I haven't made a ton of new friends, but this isn't so bad. Most people seem alright. People are people, no one is perfect, and they are not always going to be what you want them to be. No matter your biases, most of the time, kindness begets kindness. I've learned to focus more on listening to people and seeing what we DO have in common rather than emphasizing what we don't.
—same person as above
Posted at half past nine in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  
^Not trying to excuse racist stuff, but just a bit of advice for trying to talk to people in general if that feels hard. On some level, I understand that.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past ten in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link  

whitwomen—

      I'm a tall, fit, attractive junior male looking for a FWB situation (one time or many, depends on how we both feel). Not looking for anything serious but I'm also somewhat traditional. You may have to endure a movie and some cuddling. I'm well endowed, laid back, and know what i'm doing. If you're interested, send me an email and we can talk :)

—Junior Male

Posted at a quarter past nine in the evening on October 29th, 2014.  link   hide  

gentlemen—

      So as has been mentioned several times recently, as an upperclassman it's really hard to meet people and form romantic relationships with people at Whitman; there just doesn't seem to be enough time, and parties seem to be all about casual hookups.
So I'd therefore like to send out a call for any guys who might be interested in a girl who likes video games, science, wine, netflix, sex, etc, I'm just looking for a nice guy to share them with. Casually at first, but if there's chemistry I would be willing to pursue a relationship.
email me if you're interested and maybe we can work something out.

—Looking senior lady

Posted at a quarter to four in the afternoon on October 28th, 2014.  link   hide  

Ugh—

      I almost started crying after reading a buzzfeed article about sex because my experiences and relationships so far have just been terrible. I hope that part of my life changes for the better sooner rather than later. I'm definitely open to it, but it's so hard to meet people when you're not an underclassman anymore and everyone just needs to do their own thing so they can have a job after all this. As a nod to previous posts, I feel like our social and/or dating scene is very stifled by this and I often feel lonely for friendship and horny when I'm not going to act on my impulses outside of a relationship. Tried that, and it wasn't for me.

—I hope these aren't the best years of my life because they haven't been all that great

Posted at half past twelve in the morning on October 28th, 2014.  link   hide  
Yeah, I read those and feel bad for myself too sometimes. I've never actually gotten around to having sex (it's been possible a few times, but I'm stupidly kind of scared of it so I've avoided anything more than making out/hand jobs) so maybe it's not the same thing but I think I know what you mean. If it helps at all, I don't think these are "the best years of our lives." Why would they be? we're stuck in school, basically in training, before we're allowed into the world to do cool things and make a difference (or not). There's nothing awesome about that, but I find that focusing on the fact that this is temporary and no matter what we do (almost) in college (major, relationship, life choice-wise) can really permanently force our lives to go one way or another
—Anonymous
Posted at one o'clock in the afternoon on October 28th, 2014.  link  

I don't understand —

      Women who get off on putting down other women, especially if they call themselves feminists.

—Anonymous

Posted at a quarter to one in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
You are either a feminist who agrees with them on all counts or pro-rape.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past twelve in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link  
This was specifically inspired by a Facebook friend who is a stepmom and was openly critiquing her husband's ex for being a 'crazy deadbeat slut' on Facebook. Yet she also posts a ton of women's rights things.
—OP
Posted at a quarter to three in the afternoon on October 27th, 2014.  link  
So no, I wasn't saying that all feminists are like that or that all feminists will accuse you of being pro-rape if you disagree with them. I identify as a feminist. You kind of just did the same thing by labeling all feminists like that...hahaha oh the irony.
—OP
Posted at a quarter to three in the afternoon on October 27th, 2014.  link  
^ I want to give the first poster the benefit of the doubt by assuming they were not referring to all feminists but a specific kind that definitely exists.
—Anonymous
Posted at half past three in the afternoon on October 27th, 2014.  link  
Yes, that was my intent. Sorry for the confusion.
—OP
Posted at a quarter to eleven in the morning on October 28th, 2014.  link  

Anyone—

      Curious about taking REL 109 "A Conception of Ultimate Reality" with W. Wyman next semester for distribution. Does anyone know what Wyman is like/the workload/the class in general?

—Sophomore science major

Posted at a quarter to six in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  

Um.—

      A few of my friends said yesterday that they're just not attracted to black people, but they claim not to be racist. Oh my fucking god. How do I help them understand that that is totally racist? Is there anything I can do?

—Anonymous

Posted at a quarter past ten in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link   hide  
Jesus Christ. Racism really is everywhere. If they weren't attracted to any of the black people they ever met, which is probably like 5, they assume that none of them are attractive. People are really stupid at times.
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past ten in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link  
^ Unfortunately, this argument is not going to convince them, though :P

I only have a secondhand understanding of sexual attraction, so i'll leave that argument to other people, but one of the main ways that your friends are being racist is by resorting to essentialism and greatly generalizing identities. Race, like anything, is a spectrum, and they are inherently putting people into boxes with this sort of mentality and dividing people into "interested" and "not interested" by only looking at their skin colour.

In other words, it's racist because it perpetuates race as a way of categorizing people. And more than that, discriminates on basis of.

I'm not going to say that people do or don't have "types", and i'm not going to say whether or not that involves skin colour, because i honestly have no experiences there. But EVEN IF that is the case, using a single factor like skin colour as a way of pre-judging them shorts both parties involved. That's like saying "oh blue eyes are more my type" and then discarding out of hand the totally-compatible-in-every-way-and-also-otherwise-your-type green-eyed person right in front of you.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Hope they help.
—[leaf]
Posted at a quarter to eleven in the morning on October 27th, 2014.  link  
Yeah, having a preference for skin color isn't racist. Just like people have a preference for height, eye color, or hair color, you can have a preference for skin color. It's not racist to have a preference for one group. You're not actively disparaging any group at all. Race is a concept that we define. Over time, the boundaries of what defines race have changed. Suppose we defined it based on hair color. Would that make having a preference for hair color racist? We certainly don't see it that way right now. If people are worried about not including some group of people, you're certainly not obligated to be attracted to everyone. Heck, what about ugly people? Most people would would actively choose not to date someone that is legitimately ugly. It sucks for them, but it's not racist or discriminatory in any way. Just become something is out of your control doesn't mean that people should ignore it.
—Anonymous
Posted at a quarter past four in the afternoon on October 27th, 2014.  link  
You don't think that "I'm just not attracted to black people" is disparaging? Racist history should be obvious here, and aren't you writing off some pretty awesome potential romances by judging based on any physical feature? I'm white, by the way, and I don't think race is a determinant in attractiveness or ugliness.
—OP
Posted at five o'clock in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link  
It's one thing to know a black person or a person of any race and think they're an ugly or unattractive individual, but it's another to say that all black people aren't attractive. Same goes for any race. Based on historical crap, it's more understandable if a non-white person is wary of whites as dates, but they are also limiting themselves and stereotyping.
—OP
Posted at a quarter past five in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link  
RE "It sucks for them, but it's not racist or discriminatory in any way.":

Refusing to date ugly people isn't racist, but it is discriminatory. Like, by definition.
—[leaf]
Posted at a quarter past five in the evening on October 27th, 2014.  link  
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